A 25-year-old Singapore man has opened up online about feeling trapped in a cycle of financial strain, saying repeated requests for money from his father have wiped out years of savings and derailed his plans for the future.

In a post shared on Reddit, the man said that he has been supporting his family since his polytechnic days and is “tired of how broke my family is and how it’s hindering my future”. “I can never save up for anything in my life without losing it all to some big bills,” the man wrote.

He shared that his parents are divorced, he lives with his father and two younger siblings, and his mother provides child maintenance and allowance for the children. His father, he wrote, has been working as a private-hire driver since being retrenched a decade ago.

The man shared that through polytechnic, university and now full-time work, any savings he managed to build were eventually used for family expenses. At one point, he said he saved nearly S$10,000 while earning about S$2,000 a month during a gap year. However, his father later asked for the entire amount, saying it was needed for “car loan, car maintenance, road tax, petrol and house loan” payments.

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The OP said that he somehow managed to rebuild his savings during university through part-time work and bursaries, but those were spent on emergency vet bills for the family cat and household costs. After graduation, he began repaying a S$24,000 study loan while also helping settle his father’s S$10,000 credit card debt by working up to 70 hours a week across two jobs.

Despite transferring about S$11,000 over 8 months, he claimed the outstanding card balance only fell to S$7,000, leaving him questioning “where the rest of my money” went. More recently, he said that his father asked him to put a S$4,000 car repair on his credit card. “I can’t even enjoy my 13th-month bonus because it is all going to that car,” he wrote.

The OP said the constant financial drain has left him anxious about dating, unable to save for planned trips, and fearful about his prospects. He asked others in similar situations for advice and whether things improve with career progression, adding that his salary is below the median in his industry and his siblings are still in school.

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Social media reactions

The post has sparked empathy online, with many users urging him to set firm financial boundaries and prioritise his own stability.

“Sounds like your dad’s money is being spent somewhere else instead of car/house…I think you should aim to move out and cut off your money flow to him. Objectively, i think that’s the best option for your own life and mental wellbeing,” one user wrote.

“Stop trusting your dad to manage money if he won’t even pay off his credit card bill when you specifically gave him money for it,” commented another.

“It’s clear that your dad is very bad with money, so stop giving him money. The sooner you stop, the less you enable his habits. If you want to help, just pay bills, don’t give him money directly. You’re probably better off paying off your loans,” wrote a third user.

(Disclaimer: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.)